How To Bash RK Girls
by Crystal Waves
Summary: This is a set of interviews that explains why we hate all those girls in RuroKen. Can you handle the truth about them? Rated T for some language. 1st chapter Tomoe. 2nd Chapter Kaoru.
1. Tomoe

Well, after having my old account nixed for some reason, I'm back! Here's my new story. I hope you like it. Unfortunately, I don't own RK and all the characters involved. If I owned it there would be a whole lot more pictures of Kenshin and Battousai half naked. MWHAHA.

This was supposed to be in script format but has some rules disallowing that. Ruined my whole story, if it's a bit different to read I'm sorry, I tried.

Rated T for some language from a pissed-off teenager.

THE TRUE REASON THEY HATE TOMOE - AN INSIGHTFUL ANALYSIS ON THE CHARACTER NAMED TOMOE

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS - THE TOMOE BASHING SHOW

After two hours of tough and intenseinterviewing, Crystal Waves has come up with three candidates. These three women all hate Tomoe with a passion and would be perfect for our show. Their names are:

Kenshin-And-Kaoru-4-Eva-Because-They-Rock

Kenshin-And-Me-4-Eva

Tomoe-Is-A-Ho

These three ladies are here to defend their claim that Tomoe is a ho, a bitch, annoying, a rat etc. To start us off, Kenshin-And-Kaoru-4-Eva-Because-They-Rock (otherwise known as KK for our purposes). Let us BEGIN!

"Why hello KK." CW said

"Hi, CW, It's great to be here on the show right here in the RK world to discuss by disgust for the bitch otherwise known as Tomoe." KK replied

"So give us a little information about yourself."

"Well, I'm thirteen years old almost fourteen and I've watched all 95 episodes of RK, I think Kenshin and Sanouske are the sexiest men alive and I think KenKao make the best couple in like the whole world."

"That's great. Now, first question, when did you begin to hate Tomoe."

"After watching the first movie. So what if the bitch's fiancee was killed by Kenshin, it's not that big of a deal. What gives her the right to try and kill Kenshin, OMG."

"But, if Kenshin killed her fiancee shouldn't she want revenge?"

"Of course not, she should have let it go. It's not such a big deal anyway, I mean seriously it's not like they were married or anything."

"But they were about to get married?"

"Doesn't matter, she shouldn't go around trying to kill people."

"Um, okay. Moving right along, what do you think about her marriage to Kenshin?"

"Well, obviously Kenshin was forced into the marriage, who would ever like even love a ho like her."

"You seem to enjoy calling Tomoe a bitch and ho, any reason. Did she do anything in the movies to prove her as such?"

" Well, um, she tried to kill Kenshin and betrayed him! She's a bitch."

" Sure."

"Anyway, as I was saying, Kenshin was brainwashed into thinking she loved him."

"Okay. Well,what do you think happened on the big night for Kenshin?"

"The bitch probably put something in his drink to make him think she was beautiful. Have you ever seen her? She is sooo ugly!"

"Why would she do something like that?"

" Because she's a bitch!"

"Do you think she loved Kenshin"

"Are you kidding me, of course not. Whores can't love a man!"

" Interesting. What do you think of her sacrifice for Kenshin?"

"Sacrifice, my ass. Her and her dumbass fiancee put that cross-shaped scar on Kenshin. As if it wasn't bad enough she broke Kenshin's fragile teenage heart, she scarred his face. She really is a bitch."

"But she died for him?"

"Doesn't matter, her life isn't a big payment for all the shit she put Kenshin through."

"Okay. Well, our time is almost up, any last minute comments?"

"It is so obvious that Kenshin and Kaoru are like made for each other. KK 4 LiKE Ever!"

"Thank you KK for your interesting interview. Next time, Kenshin-And-Me-4-Eva will share her thoughts on Tomoe. Otherwise thank you all and look out next time for another great episode of "Tomoe - Why I Hate Her!" I'm your host Crystal Waves and bye for now!"

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Bottom of Form

Okay wow, the reviews I'm getting (sweatdrop) okay let's clear some stuff up

First off Sorry to all Tomoe fans for putting this fic in the Tomoe section, it was stupid I admit. Secondly, Tomoe is my 2nd favorite character in RK and Samurai X so this bashing really is a parody, I should have put it in. Also, I really despise bashing of any kind especially to Tomoe. Last, it was stupid not to put this before anyone read it so to all who reviewed I hope you will see this. And here are my review replies

Wistful Eyes – Again sorry for putting the fic in the Tomoe section. That was incredibly rude and annoying. The insults aren't really backed up well because I've never seen a good reason not to like Tomoe. These are some of the most popular reasons I've seen over the RK fandom.

Crystal Snowflakes – First off, I've got to say I love your writing. Ten Years was one of the best oneshots I've ever read. The OMG was just a joke, it's something I see a lot of teenagers say and since the interviewee was thirteen, well I thought I could just put it in.

PrayerDivineMercy – Glad you liked it! Tomoe bashing drives me off the wall and I see it in more than ½ the KK stories I read, it's really annoying. Thanks again.

Firuze Khanume – Wow, (sweatdrop), what a long review. I liked your clear up on Tomoe. Nothing in my fic is backed up by facts because I've never seen a reason backed up by facts. I really don't believe in this piece of crap otherwise written in the fic. I'm not a fangirl even the disclaimer was a joke. I'm more lenient with Kaoru but I sometimes feel like Tomoe was so much of a better choice for Kenshin. Anyway, Thanks for reviewing.

OMG KK 4EVA I WISH I WAS KOARU LOL – Um, wow. This is one of the reasons I should have put up the A/N. Well nothing much to say.

steelphoenix – Yes, I did take the fangirl thing to a whole new level. Sorry you didn't like it but that's just the way I write. The whole point of this parody was to exaggerate what people thought of Tomoe. And no, don't worry it didn't sound to harsh, you should see my other reviews. Anyway, I hope you read this sometime. Bye!

Cheryl-sakura – Personally, I like Tomoe so I guess difference of opinion.


	2. Kaoru

IMPORTANT A/N - First off myfirst chapterwas rude without the Author's Note. And the reviews back were worst. But when one of my favorite authors almost or basically flamed my work, that stung. And OMG I WISH I WAS KAORU LOL, please don't ever insult me in a review. If you do, I will insult you back. When I say flame, I mean flame the story not me. I am a black bitch and I know it so don't piss me off. I have enough problems in my life and I don't need some crazy-ass bitch to insult me. My so-called piece of shit isn't against the rules but silly me, you know so much, I'm just an obese sophmore who has nothing better to do than diss Tomoe.

Anyway, I'm back with Ch 2 that addresses Kaoru bashing. First off, in the reviews, I don't want to hear about how stupid and dumb Kaoru is or how much you hate Tomoe. Because you're basically dissing my favorite two characters. Yeah, get that straight, Kaoru and Tomoe are my favorite two characters. I like them for different reasons and I believe Kenshin loved both of them for different reasons. It is plain rude to be bashing them and I really don't want to hear it in a review. If you want to flame my story, flame bad writing not characters. I'm sick of hearing why people hate Tomoe and Kaoru. I've read fics and I know the reasons, unless you want your prejudiced reasons to come out on my fic, don't venture into bashing.

The long-awaited part two of HOW TO BASH TOMOE. This episode is a special feauturing the ever so annoying character known as Kaoru!

Featuring: Kenshin-And-Me-4-Eva (otherwise known as 4Eva)

_With help from one of my first reviewers - I WISH I WAS KAORU LOL_

She is here to talk about the annoying girl known as Kaoru and the hell she's put Kenshin through.

"Nice to meet you, 4Eva." Crystal Waves said.

"Same, CW." 4Eva Replied.

"So tell us about yourself." CW said.

"Well, I'm a Battousai fan! I mean seriously the man is so hot. I hate Kaoru with a passion and I hope she goes to hell!"

"Um okay. So tell me, when you first thought when you saw Kaoru."

"I thought what a spineless piece of trash."

"But in the beginning, wasn't she trying to save her father's dojo by risking her life."

"Um, who cares? Kenshin saved her."

"But that isn't the point."

"Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, Kaoru is so dumb and weak."

"I thought in the magna Watsuki said she was strong and a National-level champion."

"Watsuki obviously was wrong."

"Um okay. Do you think Kaoru is a kind person. I mean she did welcome Megumi, Sano, Yahiko and Kenshin into her home?"

"Well obviously, she needed the cash."

"Which cash, none of them bring funds in."

"Yeah they do! Don't challenge me on this, I know what I'm talking about."

"Okay... What do you think of her following Kenshin to Kyoto?"

"That was plain stupid. She was just a waste of space in Kyoto."

"But she and Misao defeated Kamatari."

"Misao did most of the work, she was just there to so later she could say 'I defeated Kamatari' "

"Well, let's fast-forward to Seissouhen. What do you think of Jinchuu?"

"Obviously more the reason to hate Kaoru. It's all Kaoru's fault that Enishi made everyone think she was dead. Anyway, Kenshin had to worry about her and he could have gotten wrinkles with all his worrying."

"Of course. Why do you think Kaoru and Kenshin got married?"

"Because Kenshin was drunk one night, had a one-night stand with her and decided to marry her to keep his honor. That's why he leaves her and her bastard son most of the time."

"I thought Kenshin left because he still regretted what he did during the Bakamatsu."

"Are you kidding me? You obviously know nothing about Rurouni Kenshin."

"Right. What did you think at the end of Reflections when the only thing Kenshin said was 'Kaoru' ?"

"Sano obviously brainwashed him to thinking that he loved Kaoru."

"So, when Kenshin died in her laps, he was brainwashed?"

"Yeah! You get it!"

"Um, Thanks for this great interview. Look out for more episodes of Bashing RuroKen characters. Till next time, I'm Crystal Waves!"


End file.
